Oh, the humanity! J

Stuart Warner

Former BJ columnist Stuart Warner, who hangs out in Arizona with wife Debbie Van Tassel these days, provides an image I can’t get out of my mind, no matter how hard I try.

Let Stuart tell it, since he’s an acclaimed wordsmith:

“Congrats to former Kent Stater Michael Keaton on his Oscar nomination for “Birdman.”

“Almost every man has had the dream of his most famous scene from the movie, caught out in public in only your tighty whities.

“But I lived it once, in 1995. Was staying in the Quaker Hilton Hotel in Akron, which has round rooms because it was built from oats silos.

“I woke up at three in the morning and headed for the bathroom. Except I opened the door to the hallway instead. I woke up real quickly, when I heard the door slam behind me and there I stood in the hallway in my Fruit of the Looms. 

"There was nothing else to do but march through the lobby and ask for a key. You just hold your head high and act like this happens all the time.”

The Quaker help figured it was just another guy sowing his oats in the oat silo.