Never a dull moment in The Villages, Florida.

It certainly isn’t boring in The Villages, Florida, which has 120,000 senior citizens with a lot of fire in them.

I’m in the Publix supermarket parking lot where one guy has his car stopped, waiting for a parking spot to open up, but he’s blocking the guy behind him, who keeps honking his horn.

The driver in the first car, who could easily have pulled a car length to let the second driver pull around, yells: “I hear you honking, asshole!”

The driver in the second car responds, “You’re the asshole! Move your car.”

Finally, the driver of the second car pulls up alongside the first car and a shouting match ensues. I think I heard these old guys use the word “asshole” a half-dozen times.

Then the driver of the second car drove on, which he could have done in the first place.

A few days later I drive to Lady Lake Barber Shop to get a haircut. I’m sitting on a chair, waiting for my turn on a barber chair.

The customer in chair #2 (there are 4 in all) get up, says “You didn’t cut the hair the way I asked you to.”

The barber said, “I did cut it the way you asked me to.”

The customer pays and storms out. He comes back in a few minutes later and the barber in chair #1 says, “I’ll fix it for you.”

When it’s my turn to get a haircut in chair #2, with the cranky barber, the customer in chair #1 and the barber of chair #2 get into an argument again.

I had had enough.

I said, “Look, I want a haircut and I don’t want to be scalped because you two are arguing. Stop arguing and give me a haircut.”

Barber #2 says, “Well, he won’t stop arguing with ME.”

I said, “I don’t give a damn. I don’t want my haircut ruined because you two are arguing.”

The rest of my haircut was done in silence around both chairs.

I got out of my chair to pay and the customer in chair #1 said, “I want to pay for this man’s haircut. Thank you.”

I paid for my own haircut, but cut barber #2’s tip in half and said, “Mountaineers don’t take any crap.”

Outside in the parking lot, the outraged customer waved me over and said, “I don’t know what’s wrong with that barber today. I know the owner.”


I repeated my mantra: “Mountaineers don’t take any crap.”

And drove away.

He drove off in his truck with Tennesee license plates.

It sure isn’t boring in The Villages.